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- Masturbate, masturbate, masturbate
- Lube makes the world go round
- Never knock a sex toy until you've tried it
- Put a condom on it
- File your fingernails
- Don't censor your fantasies
- Don't stick it up your butt unless it has a flared base
- If you're bored, hit the fast forward button
- Ask for what you want, and you're a lot more likely to get it
- Sexual pleasure is a matter of individual preference—make up a tip of your very own
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